What DO vegans eat?

I'm so glad you asked! Some tasties that've recently graced my tastebuds:

• avocado, tomato, lettuce, & spicy mustard sandwiches.
  
• walnuts.
• asparagus roasted in olive oil and vinegar, topped with sesame seeds.
• hummus, pita & veggies. Go see the nice people at The Shop on S. Perry and ask for the Clutch Plate.
• bread.
• tomatoes.
  
• curry & naan at Taste of India.
• watermelon.
• cous cous with olive oil, garlic and pine nuts.
  
• freshly-ground peanut butter from the bulk foods section.
  
• strawberries.
• soup. The possibilities are endless, especially if you can get your paws on some Trader Joe's Vegetable Savory Broth Concentrate. Phone in a favor from your friends in hip places--so worth begging someone to mail you a couple boxes (they are small).
  
• Neato Burritos.
• smoothies (my favorites are : banana, ice, soy milk & peanut butter; and banana, ice & o.j.).
• mangos.
• pasta with pesto or olive oil, garlic and lightly grilled veggies.
• beer! ...But not all beer. You may be repulsed to learn some beers are filtered through fish innards. Mmmm, innards.
• taco salad. (That's the huge salad in a mondo taco shell you always wish you'd ordered when the waiter sets it on the table next to yours).
  
• bok choy.
• Back to Nature sandwich cookies. Oreos are vegan too, but Back to Natures are waaay tastier, particularly the chocolate/mint ones. Find an accomplice, lest you find yourself unable to resist eating the whole box yourself in one sitting.
• falafel.
• artichoke.
• broccolli dipped in olive oil & vinegar.
• almonds.
  
• grilled Tofurkey beer brat in a bun with sauerkraut & spicy mustard. These soy dogs are pretty much the only faux meat I enjoy. And by "enjoy" I mean "fervently pine for when we are apart." I'm exercising lots of self control if I can keep myself to one package of these puppies a week. They're pretty heavy on the cals but also contain 27 g of protein per dog, which is 18 grams more than a Johnsonville pork brat with roughly the same calories and 9 extra grams of fat contains.
  
• grapes.
  
• bananas.
  
• edamame in teriyaki sauce.
• sushi rolls with veggie tempura, avocado, and carrots. Raw Sushi downtown makes a killer vegan roll.
  
• olives.
  
• calzones with veggies, mushrooms, vegan pesto/pizza sauce & olives.
• coffee. COFFEE! I've been drinking my lattes with soy milk for ages because of the nuttiness and texture soy adds to the drink, and because true religion can only be found in the espresso-swirled galaxy of soy foam. Most coffee shop chocolate sauces are dairy-free. Soy-phobes, go with rice milk--also tasty. Again, let The Shop do 'er right fer ya.
• fruit salad.
• bagels.
  
• leeks. I like them in stir fry or potato soup.
• english muffins.
  
• spanish peanuts, tamari sunflower seeds and other bird-food goodies from the Huckleberries bulk section. Super cheap, too.
• mushrooms. I've made a nice recovery from the college dining hall days of mushroom-flavored everything. They're actually quite tasty in moderation, as long as they're not cooked to sliminess ("cooked to sliminess" was a common trait of the 7,436 mushroom-themed dishes served at the aforementioned dining hall).
• carrots.
  
• grapefruit.
• Alternative Baking Company cookies sold at the Rocket Bakery on Garland. Glorious.
• barbecued veggie kabobs.
• brown rice.
• Taco Bell Fresco Menu items with crunchy shells or nacho chips, substituting beans for the meat. For some unknown reason, they put dairy in their tortillas (who the f*** puts dairy in tortillas?!) and guac, but the refried beans are vegan. Little-known fact: they'll make most menu items "fresco" by replacing dairy products with pretty decent salsa--not a bad idea for anyone wanting to leave the restaurant without a sideache.
  
• udon noodles.
• green beans tossed with almonds and olive oil.

With that said, I will also say this: a young man just walked by my store window wearing long, fuzzy, purple cat/lynx/rabbit ears.

Hildegaard and me.

Today I biked and it was fantastic. Like seeing an old friend, the only who really knows how to work my glutes.

I've driven absolutely everywhere for six months, which considerably weakens my case for being a superior human. Weather-wise, I could have started the biking routine a couple weeks ago. Now I have absolutely no excuse.

"Reasons" I have recently employed to avoid biking to work include:

• The South Hill, which I have to bike up at the end of the day. This is not the sort of thing I like to do.
• After-work activities. I like biking up the South Hill even less at 9pm, after yoga or soccer, than I do at 6:30pm.
• Running late. I wake up at 5 to run because I am certifiably hardcore. Nonetheless, I have a REALLY hard time getting to work by 10am, either because I've gone back to sleep or because I've embarked on a writing/cleaning/futzing around project and lost track of time.
  
• Potentially inclement weather. It may be nice out now, but by 3pm it'll be hailing. 6pm is soggy and cold, exactly the sort of weather I consider shitty biking weather.

Last summer I got around just fine without a car. I biked, took the bus, jogged, walked and bummed the occasional ride.

I am much busier this year, but the benefits of biking still far outweigh the lost time-efficiency. It's time spent outside, time spent exercising, exploring the city, saving money, getting an awkward tan, stepping away from the batty-making American Work Day routine.

Weather seems to be improving, it's light out till 9pm, and there is always the bus if I'm feeling extra-averse to The Hill. My bike has a brand new basket on the handlebars and recently-greased gears. Besides, I'll need a toned derriere to match my killer abs.

See? I really have no excuse. If all goes well, this is only the beginning of a beautiful summer fling with Hildegaard, that sexy blue vixen on wheels.

(Thar she is. Quite the looker, ain't she?)

It's on.

...The Most Extreme Killer Ab Competition, that is.

The plan:
1) Take "before" pictures.
2) Get ripped abs.
3) Take "after" pictures.
4) Ask randomly-selected judges from the streets of Downtown Spokane to choose a winner.

This is how it happened: I remarked via Facebook that I do, in fact, want killer abs like the sidebar ads tell me I do.

Luke suggested we engage in a killer ab competition. I agreed, as did Roommate.

On our first long run together, Roommate and I devised the above-stated plan, and thus the Most Extreme Killer Ab Competition was born.

It took some coaxing to get a "before" shot out of Luke--I think we took this a wee bit farther than he expected.

But I think the enthusiasm is catching on. This morning, he taught us an ab workout I can currently only sustain for six seconds. Roommate spent a large portion of her day off doing varied crunch-like things on her calisthenics ball. I... Well, I ate some Taco Bell. But I am totally on it.

I will win.

Misc. tidbits / granola confessions

1. I. love. the. sun.

2. My running jacket, which also happens to be my second favorite article of clothing, often ends up being my all-the-time jacket. Problem is, it is made of all kinds of synthetics that eat b.o. for breakfast and have nasty breath all day long.

I may or may not have just sprayed the inside of said smelly jacket with the "wasabi green pea" room spray we keep under the counter at work. Jacket still reeks, but now with vegetable undertones.

3. This week's resolution: to run every mile on my training program. This woman is no slacker, dammit!

4. I'm resigning to my fate: I am that asshole "granola child" only borne of a middle-class suburban upbringing followed by a liberal arts college education.

Perhaps everyone else has already identified me as such. But I have long been in denial, affirming myself with lies from the pit of hell, e.g. "I am a well-rounded, balanced individual!"

No, I am not.

I am suspicious of microwaves and televisions. I refuse to work anyplace where I only know the owner by a 8 x 10 framed portrait on the wall.

I buy organic, local, local organic and vegan. Exclusively. I describe your dinner using terms like "flesh," "animals," and "baby lamb-ie." It takes me half an hour to order a restaurant meal, and that's after the waiter has gone back three times to check the ingredients of various sauces.

My political perspectives are more extreme than my eating habits. My laptop is plastered with angry bumper stickers bought on the street at Telegraph Ave. in Berkeley. I haven't worn makeup since Clinton was in office. That's a lie, but you get the idea.

As sold out as I am to all these dirty hippie ideals, I grew up in the suburban inferno that is North-central California. As such, things like turning off lights and taking less-than-45-minute showers do not come naturally to me. I like to be comfortable. I like the feel of plush carpeting and textured tiling under my feet. And I love, love, LOVE lawns.

Now that I am officially embracing my culture, I'd better practice what I preach. No more animal-cruel shampoos (but they make my hair so soooft). No more driving to work (but it's so faaar). And my kitchen cupboards shall, from heretoforth, be stocked with homemade granola.